One-Liners

• Warning: dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

• A day without sunshine is like night.

• He who sitteth upon a tack shall surely rise!

• Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

• Contentsmaysettleduringshipping

• Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

• Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!

• How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

• Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling.

• Thank God I'm an Atheist!

• I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either.