Ready-made, Handy Excuses

I'd really love to, but...

• I have to floss my cat.

• I want to spend more time with my blender.

• I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

• I swallowed my gold crown this morning, and I have to wait here until it comes out the other end.

• My panty hose sprung a leak.

• I have to stay home and wash my tongue.

• I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

• I'm getting my overalls overhauled.

• My patent is pending.

• I'm worried about my vertical hold.

• I have to fulfill my potential.

• I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.

• I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.

• I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.

• I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.

• I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.

• I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

• My yucca plant is feeling yucky.

• I just picked up a book called Glue in Many Lands and I can't put it down.

• I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

• I have to rotate my crops.