The Garden of Hesperides

Just For Laughs
A Mixture of Humor, Fun, Play and More

 

Signs From Around the World

This notice was posted on a Romanian hotel elevator:
"The lift is being fixed for the next days. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
"If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it."

A bar in Tokyo informs clients:
"Special cocktails for ladies with nuts."

In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
"A room with a view on the sea or the backside of the country."

A sign on a clothing store in Brussels reads:
"Come inside and have a fit."

An ad in the International Herald Tribune reads:
"We need the services of a fully qualified female secretary to take care of English and French correspondence. The work is varied and interesting in a congenital atmosphere."

An Israeli seamstress whose place of business is off the main street posted this notice:
"Madame Ruth, Corseterie -- Entrance from the backside."

A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
"If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, please cry out for the chambermaid."

The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
"If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up."

A Hamburg tailor will sell you a:
"Three-piece suite in stimulated leather."

A cafeteria in southern France displays this sign:
"Courteous and efficient self-service."

A sign at Budapest's zoo requests:
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
"As for the trout served you at the hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praise to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed."

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
"To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."

In a Paris hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."

In a Leipzig elevator:
"Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

In a Japanese hotel:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"Special today -- no ice cream."

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
"Teeth extracted by the latest methodists."

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
"Order your summers suit because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
"English well talking."
"Here speeching American."

In a Bangkok dry cleaner:
"Drop your trousers here for best results."

In a Tokyo Hotel:
"Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such things, please not to read notice."

In a hotel in Athens:
"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily."

In a doctor's office in Rome:
"Specialist in women and other diseases."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

In a Zurich hotel:
"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Outside a Paris dress shop:
"Dresses for street walking."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

In a Rome laundry:
"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
"Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages."

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
"Would you like to ride on you own ass?"

In a Bangkok temple:
"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."

In an Acapulco hotel:
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."



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