Session 4: Body electric

This next session is another example of the 'turnaround' process that occurs when the depths of pain and despair are touched. In both this and Karen's session, there is an influx of transpersonal energy at the turnaround point. In the following case, the client experiences deep forgiveness with the turnaround as well. 'Cara,' the client, is a woman in her early fifties. She has been participating in a sadomasochistic relationship with a man, in which she subjected herself to severe pain. In this relationship she was reenacting her role in the family of origin where she took abuse from her father to protect her siblings. Her target or goal for the session was to resolve the intense anger she felt toward her lover after ending their relationship. An EMDR music tape was used to facilitate the session.

      "How dare you treat anyone this way? My father comes in now. I want to kill him, hurt him, kick him, make him pay. Not get away with it. I want to see his head crack open." (Her rage was directed toward her father as well as her former boyfriend.) "What's the use of living?" (Cara was sobbing deeply.) "I'm so tired of being abused. I'm tired of being heroic, tough, all tied up in knots. I took the abuse from my father for my siblings and for my mother. Nobody appreciated it. There's no way out. You can only dull the pain. Despair. I just want release from this life."
      "This pain is so intense. Searing pain. It wracks my whole body. It's everywhere. I don't feel like a person. I'm just pain. It's a humanity pain. Not just me. Primordial pain. All the pain of everybody." "Images of Jesus and Buddha are coming in. Something about grace and forgiveness. Maybe I'm understanding for the first time about Jesus on the cross. I always thought martyrdom was theatrical. It's like we have a choice to forgive and rise above it. I have a sense that their story was to feel everything and transmute it into something else."
      "The blockage in my body just left. I'm sitting tall and straight with my central core wide open. The light is pouring through it. I'm in the universe amongst the planets and on earth at the same time. I am light. It's in my heart and my shoulders and my mouth. My whole body. I'm electric. And there is truth in forgiveness. There is life for me in forgiveness instead of blame. I feel acceptance." Cara was looking very peaceful and radiant at this point.. She said that she felt kindly toward her father and her former boyfriend.

Cara did resume seeing the boyfriend on occasion after this, but put an end to the rough treatment. This session helped her let go of her victim identification. An interesting feature of this session is that Cara experienced a pain beyond her personal pain – 'a humanity pain.' This is a common occurrence in psychoenergetic work. Clients may feel they are processing not only their personal issues, but also the pain of collectives such as all women, or all members of their family or cultural group.