Session 7: Yellow ball of light in belly

This session is an interesting one in conjunction with the previous solar plexus session. In this session the target was an issue in the client's life rather than a physical sensation. 'Bob' is a young man who recently graduated from college. He was troubled by the fact that he felt enmeshed with his father. He was very angry about this enmeshment which he felt trapped by. Bob complained about his father's ego investment in his son's writing and described how his father would write papers for him in school. EMDR tapes were used in this session. He targeted the sense of entanglement with his father.

      "There is a tightness in my stomach. I was complicit in my Dad's investment in me. My ego was invested in him as well. I need to separate my identity from his identity. Our energies were competing. It keeps me from focusing on my own energy. I want to trust in my own higher Self to guide me, not my parents." Bob saw a ball of energy covered with mud. Rain came down and washed the mud off. It revealed a bright yellow ball of energy like the sun. The ball of energy came inside him. "It feels so nourishing. My stomach feels loose now. I feel joyful. Energy can flow freely through me and out of me. It feels wonderful. Brings me to the edge of tears." Bob was breathing heavily with intense feeling.
      Bob talked about the anger he had been feeling for his father. It was so intense they were barely speaking. "I can let go of the anger now. I can bring my Dad into that bright landscape with me. Maybe he can receive some of that nourishment too. When I focus on the ball of energy I can see his pain but it doesn't hurt me. I tell him he doesn't have to find salvation through me. You too can open to this joyfulness inside of you. We can be separate but together in this world—honor ourselves for who we are. I see myself putting my arm around his shoulder."

In this session, as in the previous one, there was recognition of a competitive pattern with a parent, diminishing the client's sense of personal autonomy and agency. It was important for Bob to recognize his own complicity in this enmeshment so he could take responsibility for his part in it. This is a necessary element in resolving this type of solar plexus issue. It is interesting that a shakti in the form of yellow light entered his solar plexus, as yellow is the color associated with this chakra. This provided Bob with the sense of nourishment and support he needed to separate from his father. He was able to do this lovingly, releasing the anger he had previously felt toward his father and owning his part in having maintained the enmeshment. Shortly after this session, he resumed communication with his father on a healthier basis. They developed a relationship which was both warm and differentiated.